My next date was more recent. This guy - Nice Guy - emailed me and immediately asked me out. That's not really my speed, because I like to exchange a few emails to get a better read on the person and see if it's even worthwhile. So, I dragged our conversation out a bit in the guise of setting up our date.
About him: I had seen his profile before and thought he was alright. He seemed a little more introspective and thoughtful than the guys I usually date and that threw me a little. Nice Guy's pictures were okay, too - his main photo was not great, but the others made him look a lot more attractive. He's a few inches taller than me, but short enough that I'd think twice about wearing heels. He seemed like a nice enough guy (hence, the moniker), but I was really getting more of a friend vibe off of him.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Ready Set Go!
Are you ready to play the game? Okay, here goes...
I had a first date with a guy about three weeks ago. We met online and seemed to hit it off over a brief series of emails and instant messages. His profile was sharp and snappy, but his pictures were all from a distance or somehow obscured getting a good look at him. From what I could tell, he was attractive enough and his personality could fill in any gaps.
About him: He has a professional degree, has lived on both coasts, and is very passionate about his current career, which is kind of unique and interesting. I'm giving you the generic, anonymous version of his profile, because he really does have a distinctive background and I don't want to get too specific with someone else's bio. He lives very close to me, but doesn't go out much. I originally thought this was because of his dedication to his chosen field, but I may have been wrong...
I had a first date with a guy about three weeks ago. We met online and seemed to hit it off over a brief series of emails and instant messages. His profile was sharp and snappy, but his pictures were all from a distance or somehow obscured getting a good look at him. From what I could tell, he was attractive enough and his personality could fill in any gaps.
About him: He has a professional degree, has lived on both coasts, and is very passionate about his current career, which is kind of unique and interesting. I'm giving you the generic, anonymous version of his profile, because he really does have a distinctive background and I don't want to get too specific with someone else's bio. He lives very close to me, but doesn't go out much. I originally thought this was because of his dedication to his chosen field, but I may have been wrong...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Fifty-One Percent
I've heard the statistic that the US population is 49% men and 51% women. Gender/sexual identity politics aside, I can't help but feel like the odds are even less in our favor. When it comes to my age bracket, I'm pretty sure we're looking at more of a 40/60 split. At least, it seems that way sometimes.
To be fair, meeting men is easy. Meeting single, date-able men is something else. For every fantastic, independent, fun single woman in my circle of friends, I know... well, almost zero men who fit the same description. Maybe it's the circles I travel in, maybe it's my own quirks, but finding great guys to date just isn't easy.
My girlfriends and I are driven to do all sorts of things in attempting to meet the elusive date-able 30ish male. Volunteering for random causes, pursuing male-centric professional options, hitting up singles nights at places of worship (within one's religious group, so far), joining community athletic teams, and even <<shudder>> online dating.
If you've never tried online dating, consider yourself lucky. Each site has its own personality and rules, but they all take a lot of time and energy and usually lead to lackluster dates with people who can't carry on a conversation. But, there are the urban fables...the ones about people who actually found girlfriends or husbands on those sites. I wouldn't believe them if I didn't personally know two different married couples who had each met online. It can happen, and that's what most subscribers hold out hope for.
The latest site I've tried gives you percentages of how much they think you're going to like a guy. I've been messaged by everyone from 98%s to 24%s. Meanwhile, I'm just hoping that one of these figures gives me an edge up on that 51% ratio.
To be fair, meeting men is easy. Meeting single, date-able men is something else. For every fantastic, independent, fun single woman in my circle of friends, I know... well, almost zero men who fit the same description. Maybe it's the circles I travel in, maybe it's my own quirks, but finding great guys to date just isn't easy.
My girlfriends and I are driven to do all sorts of things in attempting to meet the elusive date-able 30ish male. Volunteering for random causes, pursuing male-centric professional options, hitting up singles nights at places of worship (within one's religious group, so far), joining community athletic teams, and even <<shudder>> online dating.
If you've never tried online dating, consider yourself lucky. Each site has its own personality and rules, but they all take a lot of time and energy and usually lead to lackluster dates with people who can't carry on a conversation. But, there are the urban fables...the ones about people who actually found girlfriends or husbands on those sites. I wouldn't believe them if I didn't personally know two different married couples who had each met online. It can happen, and that's what most subscribers hold out hope for.
The latest site I've tried gives you percentages of how much they think you're going to like a guy. I've been messaged by everyone from 98%s to 24%s. Meanwhile, I'm just hoping that one of these figures gives me an edge up on that 51% ratio.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Welcome to the Wading Pool
So, there's this game that I play with my friends called Marry, Fuck, or Throw. In Marry, Fuck, or Throw, player A gives player B the choice of three people and then player B has to choose which among them they would marry, who they would sleep with, and who they would throw. You can play MFT about celebrities or about people you know. It's a game without points or winners, and it's a great way to kill time on a long car ride or just gossip about your friends.
Perhaps you've heard of it before, or played it, or been the topic of someone else's MFT game. I've also heard it referred to as Marry, Fuck, or Kill and various other iterations. (I prefer to Throw, rather than Kill, because it seems a little more benign. Though, I may be imagining throwing my choices into shark infested waters sometimes.)
So, now that you've gotten the gist behind MFT, allow me to explain my circumstances. I am single. I am 30-something. I am 30-something and single. In a society where we have whole television series (multiple, actually) about brides-to-be picking the right wedding dress, sometimes I think being 30ish and single is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Which leads me to the dating pool...
Join me on my real life, single girl dating exploits as I attempt to meet great guys and decide - Marry, Fuck, or Throw??
Perhaps you've heard of it before, or played it, or been the topic of someone else's MFT game. I've also heard it referred to as Marry, Fuck, or Kill and various other iterations. (I prefer to Throw, rather than Kill, because it seems a little more benign. Though, I may be imagining throwing my choices into shark infested waters sometimes.)
So, now that you've gotten the gist behind MFT, allow me to explain my circumstances. I am single. I am 30-something. I am 30-something and single. In a society where we have whole television series (multiple, actually) about brides-to-be picking the right wedding dress, sometimes I think being 30ish and single is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Which leads me to the dating pool...
Join me on my real life, single girl dating exploits as I attempt to meet great guys and decide - Marry, Fuck, or Throw??
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