The internet has been providing some great insights into dating and romance lately. Behold:
-How ladies should act in the company of gentlemen. Tips from 1938.
-A Bad Case of the Dates. Absolutely love these dating horror stories!
-The worst, post-date stalker-y email ever. Clearly the guy has issues; this is truly a lesson in what not to do.
Also, a little bit of insight into my recent dating life. I went on two dates with a guy. He was weird at the end of the second date and I pretty much put him out of my mind after that (which was about 10 days ago). Today I get this text message:
Just to let you know, I'm in a horrible emotional state right now fur [sic] several reasons and I'm not really feeling like dating. I'm sorry.
After a few minutes, I started to feel bad for the guy because I really have no idea what's going on with him and it sounds bad. But my first reaction - Yeah, dude, not a problem.
Monday, December 12, 2011
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Overheard at the Office
An excerpt from conversation I had with coworker/friend today:
Me: I need a raise.
Her: Why?
Me: So I can buy myself more pretty rings like this one.
(Waving my hand with new, big, shiny semi-precious ring on it.)
Me: I watch it sparkle while I type on my computer.
Her: You're ridiculous.
Me: I can never get engaged... I wouldn't get any work done.
Don't worry, folks! It ain't happening any time soon. But more dates are....stay tuned!
Me: I need a raise.
Her: Why?
Me: So I can buy myself more pretty rings like this one.
(Waving my hand with new, big, shiny semi-precious ring on it.)
Me: I watch it sparkle while I type on my computer.
Her: You're ridiculous.
Me: I can never get engaged... I wouldn't get any work done.
Don't worry, folks! It ain't happening any time soon. But more dates are....stay tuned!
Question
What do you do when someone kisses you while you're still deciding whether or not you want to kiss them? I ask because that just happened to me. I was so perplexed by the situation that I actually drove past my own house on the way home and had to park down the street when I realized where I was. I politely kissed back, but I pulled away as soon as possible and made some lighthearted remarks and literally trotted to my parked car. What would you do in that situation??
Monday, November 21, 2011
Romance and Relationships - Bits from Around the Web
I've read a few entertaining or interesting articles on dating and relationships recently and thought I'd share them with you. I owe you guys so many date stories (I've been racking them up!), so stay tuned for all the juicy details. In the meantime, check these out:
- Guns, Ammo, Romance? Romance's New Format from the New York Times
- Does it help if the man loves the woman more in a relationship? (This makes me think of the Reachers and the Settlers theory of HIMYM.) Chime in with the HowAboutWe poll.
- Online Dating 101: You Don't Have to Respond to Everyone from HowAboutWe. Amen to that!
- Guns, Ammo, Romance? Romance's New Format from the New York Times
- Does it help if the man loves the woman more in a relationship? (This makes me think of the Reachers and the Settlers theory of HIMYM.) Chime in with the HowAboutWe poll.
- Online Dating 101: You Don't Have to Respond to Everyone from HowAboutWe. Amen to that!
Saturday, October 29, 2011
Awkward is as Awkward Does
Okay, let's all go back in our time machine to this summer when this blog experiment first started. Before "Nice Guy" and I started dating, I had one more date with another guy. It was on the same day as my first date with Nice Guy, actually (scandalous!), and it wasn't much but I feel like I should report it nonetheless.
About him: This guy - I'll just go ahead and call him Awkward - was not particularly attractive on his online profile, but he did seem decently nice and smart. He's in law school and just seemed like a normal, average guy. I have a policy of accepting 95% of first date offers, so I went along with it. (My policy is just based on giving people the benefit of the doubt - you never know when first impressions are off, or when you're going to have more in common with someone than you think.)
About him: This guy - I'll just go ahead and call him Awkward - was not particularly attractive on his online profile, but he did seem decently nice and smart. He's in law school and just seemed like a normal, average guy. I have a policy of accepting 95% of first date offers, so I went along with it. (My policy is just based on giving people the benefit of the doubt - you never know when first impressions are off, or when you're going to have more in common with someone than you think.)
The Story
Do you remember this story? The one about the great first date? Well, things snowballed from there to a great second date (wine! sunset! pretty view! dinner! lots of talking! intimacy!). "Nice Guy" and I really hit it off; we had instant chemistry and a good rapport.
On our third date, he got a phone call - he got his dream job in his dream city. Things ramped up from there - he asked me to go apartment hunting with him, I helped him pack, we were legitimately dating. Soon after we started being exclusive, though, we started fighting. Our high moments were super high - very open emotionally, but the low moments were mind-boggling. He was moody and not very nice about it (so much for the Nice Guy nickname).
On our third date, he got a phone call - he got his dream job in his dream city. Things ramped up from there - he asked me to go apartment hunting with him, I helped him pack, we were legitimately dating. Soon after we started being exclusive, though, we started fighting. Our high moments were super high - very open emotionally, but the low moments were mind-boggling. He was moody and not very nice about it (so much for the Nice Guy nickname).
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Saturday, July 16, 2011
Nice Guys Finish....?
My next date was more recent. This guy - Nice Guy - emailed me and immediately asked me out. That's not really my speed, because I like to exchange a few emails to get a better read on the person and see if it's even worthwhile. So, I dragged our conversation out a bit in the guise of setting up our date.
About him: I had seen his profile before and thought he was alright. He seemed a little more introspective and thoughtful than the guys I usually date and that threw me a little. Nice Guy's pictures were okay, too - his main photo was not great, but the others made him look a lot more attractive. He's a few inches taller than me, but short enough that I'd think twice about wearing heels. He seemed like a nice enough guy (hence, the moniker), but I was really getting more of a friend vibe off of him.
About him: I had seen his profile before and thought he was alright. He seemed a little more introspective and thoughtful than the guys I usually date and that threw me a little. Nice Guy's pictures were okay, too - his main photo was not great, but the others made him look a lot more attractive. He's a few inches taller than me, but short enough that I'd think twice about wearing heels. He seemed like a nice enough guy (hence, the moniker), but I was really getting more of a friend vibe off of him.
Ready Set Go!
Are you ready to play the game? Okay, here goes...
I had a first date with a guy about three weeks ago. We met online and seemed to hit it off over a brief series of emails and instant messages. His profile was sharp and snappy, but his pictures were all from a distance or somehow obscured getting a good look at him. From what I could tell, he was attractive enough and his personality could fill in any gaps.
About him: He has a professional degree, has lived on both coasts, and is very passionate about his current career, which is kind of unique and interesting. I'm giving you the generic, anonymous version of his profile, because he really does have a distinctive background and I don't want to get too specific with someone else's bio. He lives very close to me, but doesn't go out much. I originally thought this was because of his dedication to his chosen field, but I may have been wrong...
I had a first date with a guy about three weeks ago. We met online and seemed to hit it off over a brief series of emails and instant messages. His profile was sharp and snappy, but his pictures were all from a distance or somehow obscured getting a good look at him. From what I could tell, he was attractive enough and his personality could fill in any gaps.
About him: He has a professional degree, has lived on both coasts, and is very passionate about his current career, which is kind of unique and interesting. I'm giving you the generic, anonymous version of his profile, because he really does have a distinctive background and I don't want to get too specific with someone else's bio. He lives very close to me, but doesn't go out much. I originally thought this was because of his dedication to his chosen field, but I may have been wrong...
Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Fifty-One Percent
I've heard the statistic that the US population is 49% men and 51% women. Gender/sexual identity politics aside, I can't help but feel like the odds are even less in our favor. When it comes to my age bracket, I'm pretty sure we're looking at more of a 40/60 split. At least, it seems that way sometimes.
To be fair, meeting men is easy. Meeting single, date-able men is something else. For every fantastic, independent, fun single woman in my circle of friends, I know... well, almost zero men who fit the same description. Maybe it's the circles I travel in, maybe it's my own quirks, but finding great guys to date just isn't easy.
My girlfriends and I are driven to do all sorts of things in attempting to meet the elusive date-able 30ish male. Volunteering for random causes, pursuing male-centric professional options, hitting up singles nights at places of worship (within one's religious group, so far), joining community athletic teams, and even <<shudder>> online dating.
If you've never tried online dating, consider yourself lucky. Each site has its own personality and rules, but they all take a lot of time and energy and usually lead to lackluster dates with people who can't carry on a conversation. But, there are the urban fables...the ones about people who actually found girlfriends or husbands on those sites. I wouldn't believe them if I didn't personally know two different married couples who had each met online. It can happen, and that's what most subscribers hold out hope for.
The latest site I've tried gives you percentages of how much they think you're going to like a guy. I've been messaged by everyone from 98%s to 24%s. Meanwhile, I'm just hoping that one of these figures gives me an edge up on that 51% ratio.
To be fair, meeting men is easy. Meeting single, date-able men is something else. For every fantastic, independent, fun single woman in my circle of friends, I know... well, almost zero men who fit the same description. Maybe it's the circles I travel in, maybe it's my own quirks, but finding great guys to date just isn't easy.
My girlfriends and I are driven to do all sorts of things in attempting to meet the elusive date-able 30ish male. Volunteering for random causes, pursuing male-centric professional options, hitting up singles nights at places of worship (within one's religious group, so far), joining community athletic teams, and even <<shudder>> online dating.
If you've never tried online dating, consider yourself lucky. Each site has its own personality and rules, but they all take a lot of time and energy and usually lead to lackluster dates with people who can't carry on a conversation. But, there are the urban fables...the ones about people who actually found girlfriends or husbands on those sites. I wouldn't believe them if I didn't personally know two different married couples who had each met online. It can happen, and that's what most subscribers hold out hope for.
The latest site I've tried gives you percentages of how much they think you're going to like a guy. I've been messaged by everyone from 98%s to 24%s. Meanwhile, I'm just hoping that one of these figures gives me an edge up on that 51% ratio.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Welcome to the Wading Pool
So, there's this game that I play with my friends called Marry, Fuck, or Throw. In Marry, Fuck, or Throw, player A gives player B the choice of three people and then player B has to choose which among them they would marry, who they would sleep with, and who they would throw. You can play MFT about celebrities or about people you know. It's a game without points or winners, and it's a great way to kill time on a long car ride or just gossip about your friends.
Perhaps you've heard of it before, or played it, or been the topic of someone else's MFT game. I've also heard it referred to as Marry, Fuck, or Kill and various other iterations. (I prefer to Throw, rather than Kill, because it seems a little more benign. Though, I may be imagining throwing my choices into shark infested waters sometimes.)
So, now that you've gotten the gist behind MFT, allow me to explain my circumstances. I am single. I am 30-something. I am 30-something and single. In a society where we have whole television series (multiple, actually) about brides-to-be picking the right wedding dress, sometimes I think being 30ish and single is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Which leads me to the dating pool...
Join me on my real life, single girl dating exploits as I attempt to meet great guys and decide - Marry, Fuck, or Throw??
Perhaps you've heard of it before, or played it, or been the topic of someone else's MFT game. I've also heard it referred to as Marry, Fuck, or Kill and various other iterations. (I prefer to Throw, rather than Kill, because it seems a little more benign. Though, I may be imagining throwing my choices into shark infested waters sometimes.)
So, now that you've gotten the gist behind MFT, allow me to explain my circumstances. I am single. I am 30-something. I am 30-something and single. In a society where we have whole television series (multiple, actually) about brides-to-be picking the right wedding dress, sometimes I think being 30ish and single is a good thing and sometimes it's a bad thing. Which leads me to the dating pool...
Join me on my real life, single girl dating exploits as I attempt to meet great guys and decide - Marry, Fuck, or Throw??
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